One step forward, two steps back

I wish I was funny again. I guess I wasn't all THAT funny in the past, but I definitely felt like I used to be a funnier guy before. Hmm maybe that's the point of this blog. Maybe this the blog where Vincent Got His Funny Back. Alright, maybe that's what I'll do here. I'll try to think of funny things to write, stories, skits, who knows what else. There's no reason to get all mopey! Time to make funny!

Test-test-test

Alright, it's been a while since I posted last, maybe I should try to make this a daily thing. I feel like I have some things that are worth writing, at least to an audience of myself. It's kind of nice to have a place to put my thoughts out there, but even in this blog I don't feel totally fine with revealing EVERYTHING about my life. Maybe it's the fear that someone I know will stumble across this, and judge me for what I say. I guess in that sense, nothing beats a physical journal.

Was this supposed to be a daily thing?

Here we are again. I'm currently in class, but like always, I'm having a hard time paying attention. My thoughts have been distracted lately, and though I know the primary reason for it, I can't think of a way to resolve it. I'm getting tired of trying to ride the storm and get to the other side in one piece. Why can't I just be fine already?

I thought I was over being anxious about getting better, but I guess realizing I'll be anxious for a long while is just another thing I'll have to accept about this whole thing.

I think I need to start letting go of things. I hold a lot of hate in my heart, and it's such a waste of time to do that. I need to really look at myself, and find a way to really let go of that. Maybe that's what this blog will be about? Who knows?

Still no clue

Right now I'm sitting in an empty movie theater in Sacramento. I'm supposed to be in class, but for some reason I couldn't get out of bed. I've been having a lot of those days lately. I wonder how I can get out of this funk? I guess that's the point of this whole thing. Until I think of something interesting to write about, this is gonna get boring fast.

I'm wondering if I should have gone home this weekend. That might have been a good recharge. Well, I guess I'll just ride it out.

I got a random page view from Alaska, so hello Alaska! You're probably a bot or something but I guess it's nice to see some kind of connection to the world outside.

Anyways, I'm going to watch Calvary. I hope it's nice, rotten tomatoes seemed to think so,  but I guess that's something I have to take with a grain of salt.

No Clue Yet

I've always been of the opinion that there needs to be a purpose behind an action for it to be meaningful. Sure, there are those rare moments where that isn't the case, but to rely on those actions is a total crapshoot. It's like hoping to get across Los Angeles in 30 minutes but you leave at 5 PM on a weekday. Sure, it could happen, but without putting thought into the plan beforehand, it's likely to fall through.

I'll think of a better analogy, I'm usually pretty good about analogies. I was told once that I liked to analogize everything. Probably because I used to teach. I just feel like analogies are such a good way to make thing understandable. Though I should keep it simple. Hoping to have a meaningful action without a purpose driving it is like putting paint to canvas on a whim and hoping you'll end up with a masterpiece. Chances are, you're not going to have one. Nailed it.

I guess this is a really long-winded way of saying I'm not sure yet what the purpose of this blog will be. It's going to be one of a billion blogs already out there in the world, but I guess this blog isn't really for the world. It's for me. I've been told time and time again writing out my thoughts is a good way to move on with my life. I guess I've been hung up on certain things about my life, and although some days I feel like I'm doing better, something triggers my memories and I slip right back to square one.

Ugh, did I really use the word trigger? 

Anyway, right now I have no idea what I want to do with this blog, but for now I'll let it be a place where I can write my thoughts. And hopefully it'll help me get back to where I used to be. Or maybe even better, who knows?